My two year old loves his “mine”. He calls his pacifier his “mine” in case if you were wondering :)
I had full intentions of getting Andrew off of his pacifier before he ever said his first word; because I can’t stand it when kids talk with pacifiers in their mouths. But he loves his mine. And it would be terrible for us as parents to take away something that gives him such comfort. So we limited its use. So these were my guidelines for the most part – if Andrew was well enough/awake enough to talk or laugh – he was fine enough that he could not have his mine. But he could have it for nap time and bed time, and of course if he was sick, sad, or in pain.
This is a hard set of rules to have – and I think we created a “whiney-head” because of it. So we decided that he could have it at Nap/Bed time ONLY. no exceptions. Out of sight – Out of Mind. As soon as he’d wake up, the pacifiers would go into a cupboard or tucked under the bed pillow; and as soon as nap/bed time came, he was allowed to have it again. He was doing so well with this – but then we moved.
I was originally planning on (WOOPS!) “losing” the pacifiers in the move. But after day one of this, I realized we needed him to nap – so we could get some work done around here! So that idea quickly went out the window. And even worse? He reverted back to constantly wanting/needing his mine.
Joe and I discussed that we would just have to ‘DO IT’ one day and just take them away and suffer for a few days while he grew accustomed to not having it in his mouth. (Its so funny to watch him before he takes a drink of water to try to “Remove” his pacifier even though it’s not there..) But we tabled the idea until further notice.
Well this last week Andrew was sick and his affinity for his ‘mine’ grew really strong. Then, Saturday morning Andrew came up to me and was trying to tell me something – but had his pacifier in his mouth. I pulled it and said ‘I can’t understand you when you talk with your mine in your mouth’ and immediately he replaced it with the pacifier he had in his other hand.. and he started trying to get the one I pulled out of his mouth back in his hand for another back-up. I didn’t let him have it. He threw himself to the floor hysterically crying about not being able to have his other pacifier in his hand.
That’s when it just burst inside of me. “Ok. We’re Done.” and I got up and got a ziploc bag – grabbed every pacifier that I could find and all the ‘stash’ pacifiers and then tried to explain to him as I took his Mine out of his mouth. I told him he should say goodbye to them because they’re going to a new home with a new baby; and he was not going to see them anymore. and he screamed hysterically some more. 
He cried for about the next hour or so and Joe and I discussed doing a consolation prize for sharing his Mine’s with a new baby – And so we packed up and went to the store – and got him a new little bike (which we were planning on getting him anyway) and a baseball bat for this summer – which he is pretty excited about and we’ve been reminding him that he has his bike and baseball bat because he doesn’t have his mine anymore.
He didn’t nap Saturday afternoon because he cried through his nap time wanting his mine and being angry that we weren’t letting him have it. Night time was a little easier because he was SO tired – and chanted ‘mine, mine, mine’ until he fell asleep..
Sunday’s nap time went a little better, but was still a little rough – and then going to bed last night was even a little better. We could hear him having a conversation with himself about.. “mine, all gone – no mine, gone. gone – mine.” in a very “Rain-Man”- like speech.
It breaks our hearts as parents to see him struggle through this – but I know its just something that has to be done. His addiction to his pacifier was growing and we were just getting weaker as it continued. It had to just be a cold-turkey sort of thing.
We will continue to have discussions with him over the next several days/weeks about his ‘loss’. But I’m sure he’ll do just fine without it.
Any advice on the topic is greatly appreciated!
Awww! My boy did not give his up until a bit later then that ;)
ReplyDeleteI let Blaze keep his till he was 3 but he went through a ton of sickness for a year and a half and the docs said let him have it. We used Bye Bye Binky to break him and in 4 days he was done. There were never tears or fits just a little confusion because it didn't work the same lol. I recommend it to everyone who even mentions letting the paci go because it is free and really works. Blaze always had one in his mouth and one in each hand. I kind of miss the quiet sometimes ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm no help - my daughter decided she was done with the pacifier at 3 months old. It was so frustrating and I envied the moms that had children that would still take a pacifier. I guess in hindsight, it was one less thing I had to break her of.
ReplyDeleteAndrew can get through this and so can you! I'm sure the adjustment period will go on a little longer since it was such a comforting thing for him but one day, he'll just forget. Stay strong!
My girls were both paci addicts, but they both surprised me by not really getting upset when we decided to get rid of them. So I didn't have to go through what you're doing, but it sounds like you guys are handling it fine. I'm sure it will pass in a few days :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that mine just didn't like them after about 4 months so we never had this struggle. But my third son kept wanting a night time bottle (like middle of the night) for almost two years and after being tired for so many years...i had no fight in me. But I too had to through them away to finally stop. It took two nights and it was done.
ReplyDeleteThe only baby I had that took a pacifier was my first child and only because a nurse gave it to her without my permission when they went to get her vitals checked. It was easy to take away from her though. At 8 months we took it and the next day, it was like she forgot about it. I think she cried about for 30 minutes max the night before. I could hardly believe it! I think the younger you do it, the easier. He'll be over it no time, you'll see. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's a hard thing for a child to let go of a comfort device no matter what it is, and you're bound to have some defiance and crying because yes your child blames you. We did it 13 years ago with a pacifier and a 'blankie' again 10 years ago and if you stand strong it's worth it. Tough Love is never easy, but it's worth it with the little things, because when you need it with the big things you know how to do it and your kid also knows you mean business :)
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