Two Months Nursing!

I've officially made it two months nursing as of January 1st!

My first experience with nursing my oldest child was horrible! He wouldn't latch! He moved his head back and forth in a paniky 'feed me now!' motion, and then would pull off if I made the slightest move! I'd be up for hours in the middle of the night trying to get him to latch - many nights of frustration and tears! But with all the information given about breast feeding now days, I felt like I was a failure for hating and despising nursing!  I was less of a mom if I was going to switch to a bottle.  So I kept on going.  UnTiL.....! I had a really horrible gallbladder attack - and a stone got stuck in my pancreatic duct causing severe acute pancreatitis - which meant I was hospitalized for a week just to get my pancreas to calm down, and then had to have surgery to remove my gallbladder! Needless to say, I was unable to nurse my son while in the hospital, but kept pumping, just because I felt too horrible to 'give up' yet.  But the Dr. said I should pump-and-dump until I was off the extreme pain meds and back onto a normal diet again (I couldn't eat the whole time I was in the hospital). So my son had to be supplemented with formula.  And when I was ready to get back into the swing of feeding him - he refused me.  Down Right REFUSAL! I thought - maybe it was just he wanted the bottle - so I pumped and gave him a fresh bottle - but he screamed and cried!  Then I gave him a formula bottle - and he chugged.
He LOVED formula! (YAY!!!)

SO this time, I was NOT looking forward to nursing.  I still promised I'd try.  I said 'if he is ANYTHING near where Andrew is with nursing skills, he's going to formula... no questions asked!'. But he was awesome. His ability to latch, and stay latched were phenomenal!  I can/could walk around the house while he is eating and he wouldn't care! So I then promised two months, and an evaluation from that point on.
Well, I only bought one Bravado nursing tank, and I bought one nursing bra (That doesn't fit...ugh.) and I have one shirt that is made for nursing (which I wear EVERY time I'm in public for an extended period of time, for ease of nursing.)  I said 'If I decide that things are still going well at two months, I'm going to treat myself to another nursing bra, a tank top, and another shirt.'

Fast forward to January 1st, and I'm at my Grandma's house - and she reminds me that Ethan is now two months exactly!  I hadn't even thought about it! So then I spent a day re-evaluating (although it didn't really take too much thought) and I have decided that my next big goal is six months.  I still very much dislike nursing, because it's annoying to be the only one who can feed him, and that every time he cries, its my responsibility to make him better, and it's hard to share that with my husband. But either way, I'm going for it.

I looked online at first for more Bravado tanks and bra, but I felt I'd much rather try them on for size before I buy them - and Hot Mama has those;  So I've been looking for the best styles and types of shirts - The shirts at Hot Mama are a bit (to say the least) expensive for my taste!  $70+ for a nursing shirt is not really my style.

Four more months of nursing, here I come! Then I think I'll be fully ready to give that up completely!